An Ominous Beginning

To paraphrase the great comedian Lewis Black, if you ever get the chance to fly Delta...don't.

My travels began on the morning of February 19. I was scheduled to take off from San Diego at 7:25 and land in JFK Airport in New York at 3:55, leaving me plenty of time to get to the 7:00 Foo Fighters concert that night at Madison Square Garden.

[Somewhere in the world the Delta gods are looking up at me, laughing uncontrollably]

I pulled up to the San Diego airport a little after 6:30 for my flight. Yes, I know, I should have been there earlier. Anyway, I tell the guy at curbside where I'm going and he responds with a perplexed look, and says, "Let me check the computer." After typing for a few seconds, he looks up and tells me the 7:25 flight does not exist. He says there was a 6:55 flight, but I missed it. When I begin to explain to him that there must be a mistake, he tells me to go upstairs because he can no longer help me.

As I began climbing the stairs, I grew furious that Delta's incompetence caused me to miss my flight. Then I began to second-guess myself. I was pretty sure I was scheduled to land in Dublin at 7 in the morning a week later, but maybe I had confused the times of the two flights for each other. Now feeling angry at myself, I approached the Delta counter. I told them of the situation, and they checked the computer. In a nonchalant tone, the woman informs me that my flight was in fact at 7:25. However, the world-class company that is Delta Airlines inexplicably changed the time of the flight....without notifying me.

I'll spare you much of the remaining details (almost missing my new flight because Delta was unable to print my boarding pass for 15 minutes, encountering an incredulous flight attendant and having to land in La Guardia instead of the originally planned JFK).

I finally landed in New York at roughly 7pm. While I waited at baggage claim, I talked myself into legitimately believing Delta had lost at least one of my two bags. Much to my pleasant surprise though, BOTH of my bags eventually came off the carousel!! Excited to get the hell away from Delta and its inept employees, I picked up my duffel only to see it half-unzipped. I let out an enthusiastic, "You gotta be shittin' me!" and begin to check my bag for missing clothing. I soon remember that my friend Liz had packed the bag for me the night before (Thanks again, Liz. You are officially The Coolest.) and it would have therefore been pointless for me to search for missing contents. I proceeded to leave La Guardia, but not before screaming a few obscenities that need not repeating.

I hailed a cab and headed toward Chelsea. My friend Ashton, with whom I would be staying for the next week, met me outside and grabbed my bags from me. I hopped back in the cab and told my driver our second stop was Madison Square Garden. There I met my friend Dave (also known as David Jason Denney) and we walked into the show. The Foo Fighters came on roughly an hour later, and played a RIDICULOUS show for the next 2+ hours. The concert was a great way to begin the 4 month extravaganza.

Anway, back to Delta Hell. While getting ready for bed, I realized the bag full of my toiletries for the next 4 months was missing.

Again, I will spare you specific incompetence and just let you know that I was told the bag was gone for good, at which I proceeded to buy everything that was missing and had my mother and Liz (thanks, again) overnight the remaining the necessities. I figured this wasn't the worst thing in the world; yes, I had to replace all of the bag's contents, but at least Delta would reimburse me for all costs. Hours before the package arrived, I received a call from...you guessed it, Delta. They inform that they have in fact retrieved my bag in tact. Now I don't have a leg to stand on in terms of receiving any sort of monetary compensation. But at least I now had two nail clippers. So there's that.

Once Delta was out of my life (at least for the time being), I had an amazing time in New York. I ate well, saw family, friends and even family friends. We went to bars, clubs and I even found myself at the top of the Empire State Building at midnight. (For those of you who are wondering - not too shabby)

The day before I left for Europe, I decided to call Delta to ensure everything was fine. Everything was NOT fine. Apparently, a particular imbecile decided to cancel my reservation. Don't ask me why they did this - it is well beyond any expertise I possess. Eventually they fixed the mistake, but if I had not called prior to getting to the airport, I would probably be incarcerated somewhere in Queens right now.